writer’s block or something like that / bringthemback

I had planned to develop a post on the anniversary of one of my quondam posts ‘269 to 234’ because it would mark one year that i have been pleading for the girls to return home.

I decided to write it before time because by the time it would have to be posted, I would be very busy with my igcse.

Every time I began to write, I stopped. I kept telling myself “maybe they’ll come back before then” “there’s no need, they’ll be back “. Almost a year ago I wrote about faith and unconsciously I have found myself in doubt.

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I’ve tried to write poems and short stories about this but i am unsuccessful each time. I can not write pretending to be in their shoes or pretending to be a relative; I do not know how to. A writer should be able to implant themselves in unknown situations but in this case, i have failed.

To begin to write false lines about how “I’ve” been raped, how “I’ve” been sold, how “I’ve” been kidnapped from my school at night is hard for me. To impersonate Aisha or Barakat  is a lie that my fingers are not willing to tell because the pain that runs through my veins can not match the pain that pours from their eyes daily. Nothing i write can come close to being in their shoes.

Between April last year and April this year, I have had the experience of working at a firm and a factory, I have learned things that would never depart from me,I have had the opportunity to dream, I have drawn nearer to my savior, I have found someone who is by my side always, I have captured a crowd with my words on education, I have lived, I have loved but them, they have sat with monsters waiting for the day they would be set free so in these two different scenarios how dare i try to fit in their shoes.

I almost run crazy as I start to think of how I can place myself in their shoes. As I place my feet into the shoes the laces just don’t tie up, I run mad. To be ripped apart from my family, to be left with no hope, no dreams. I can not understand it. My heart bleeds at the thought.

What I find harder to understand are these monsters. What joy or what happiness does it bring to take petals away from their stems.What purpose drives them? What sort of evil is rooted up in them?

The Bible says in Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but the counsel of the LORD will stand.” and that is what I hold on to to replenish my faith. Whatever is their plan will be abolished by the counsel of God so again, after almost a year all i can say is #Bringbackourgirls

the names referred to are not real.

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