One day I woke up

Without the urge to hear your voice

My mind completely detangled from thoughts of you

I no longer cared:

To be your motivation;

To be the spinal cord to your dreams and aspirations

I no longer cared to hear you cry

About misguided plans and female fans

I would no longer be your shrine

where you created your fantasies of what a woman should look like

or feel like

I would not become your form of escape

You, a glass that I was desperate to fill

All this while blind to the fact that

I was emptying me

I accepted the love?

, you gave me because

that was all I knew love to be

destructive, chaotic, one sided

But I woke up and,

I realised that

You were simply

the distraction to my lack of self love

My lack of self awareness,

Was hidden in the moments of

your glorification.